The Upward Spiral

All I talk about anymore is the spiral. The upward spiral.

It's just like a downward spiral. You start doing something small - once in awhile, like ordering takeout when you normally cooked something cheap and healthy. Or shopping, or skipping your workout, or drinking. But mostly all of it. Then a little more often. Not often enough to make a noticeable difference in your life. Just once in awhile, because you can. Life's still good. You're still in control. It's so gradual that you don't see how far you've sunk.

I believe in the upward spiral. I believe in doing little things - positive things - here and there without any noticeable improvement to your life. Just once in awhile, because you can. Life still sucks. You still feel no control. The upward spiral is so gradual you don't see how much more peaceful your life has become.

Credit scores and savings accounts improve one point and one dollar at a time. Weight loss and growing out your hair...it's a lot of patience for no payoff.

Then one day, BAM, it hits you. Things just suck less. I have been so unorganized this year that I have panic moments just thinking about my apartment. I recently started putting my boots and keys in the closet the minute I get home. I call it my Mister Rogers routine. That's it. Just one little action. My dishes are still piled up and my laundry is ridiculous. But over a couple of weeks I noticed that the overall order of my home has slowly improved. Instead of kicking my clothes off and leaving them there, I put them in the hamper without thinking. It's bizarre.

Maybe it's putting your boots in the closet. Maybe it's adding $20 to a credit card payment every month. Maybe it's starting an antidepressant. It all counts. If it's
1: A positive action you take,
2. Something you just started doing - or something you've been doing for awhile, and
3. It doesn't feel/look better right away...

Then it's probably part of your upward spiral. Keep doing it.

I talked to a friend the other day after a couple of months - I asked how things were and she said they were just as shitty as last time we talked. She's doing everything right. She's sticking to her routine. She's added in more healthy actions. She described an annoying phone call from a toxic friend who needed something after two weeks. But the last time we discussed this toxic "friend," the problem was that she was so overinvolved with this freak's life that she didn't go a day without some sort of incident. I pointed out that these social abrasions had always been a daily problem. What's up with the bi-weekly thing? My friend + this moment = light bulb.

Upward spiral, my dear. You don't even see it.

Part of the upward spiral for me is the Mindbloom game. Today's Mindbloom digest included this Youtube thing that made me effing cry at work. Thanks a lot, Mindbloom dammit.

Anyway, what if this were a normal part of your day? What if it didn't take a social experiment on a busy street to get you to do this? I'm going to give a compliment to someone on this blog today. Cuz why not.

Upward and out,

K.