I miss the Wednesday a.m. session of this every week (on x96 KXRK Radio From Hell) and they never were great about updating their website with the lists submitted. It's too bad, because I love that segment. It makes me feel happy inside, when full of righteous anger and a hint of victim complex. So here are my things that must go. They'll probably offend you, so if they do...I'm sorry.
1. The word "Webinar." I don't care if it's required. I come to work expecting a normal happy day, and you require me to complete a "Webinar." Guess what's at the bottom of my to-do list, unchecked? That is. You know what would move it to the top of my list? Calling it a Web seminar. Just a thought.
2. PT Cruisers. I don't know why. Every time I see one, I just get disappointed in humans. It's not that I got cut off by one, or that one almost hit me at some point in life. I just think they're hideously ugly. Here's where I might offend you or your mom. If you drive one, I meant every PT cruiser EXCEPT yours, of course.
3. The word "Chipotle." When it's pronounced right, it still sounds wrong. And when their salads are so wonderful, you have to try contorting your mouth to pronounce the word just to ask others if they want to go with you. I hate this word.
4. Mismatched roof pitches. It looks like your architect spilled coffee on the keyboard when operating the software she built your blueprints with. You wanted multiple gables in your elevation. You actually took the time to build a custom home. And you missed that. COME ON. There are lots of out-of-work contractors out there who would love to tear off your porch, and rebuild it to match the rest of your lovely home.
5. When the comforter wads up in the bottom of the duvet after a day or two of not making the bed. You have a wad of heavy comforter at the bottom, and then a queen sized flap of fabric trying to keep you warm from the ankles up. Correcting this problem requires more effort than cleaning your entire house. It must go.
6. When real estate or rental listings put pictures of the fancy clubhouse fireplace, and the fancy clubhouse furniture, in the ad. As if that's what the house or apartment looks like. Or as if the clubhouse is where you'd be living. How hard is it to take 5 or 6 pictures of the actual home? What the hell is SO wrong with it, that you can't bear to post its photos? Ironically, they almost always leave out the cost of the HOA fee associated with said clubhouse.
7. Being forced to reason with an automated phone system. It is weirdly humiliating. Bonus points for when you keep pushing zero (to get a human on the phone) and the automated thing goes "Okay!" Like you're throwing a tantrum. It simply must go.
I have so many more than seven. But roundups are much cooler in sevens. So I had to stop myself. Thanks for understanding.
6 comments:
hahahahaha
yes webinar is a totally ridiculous word, and nothing is fun or whimsical about them so let's lose the word.
If chrysler stopped making PT cruisers today, I would not be sad.
My mom always pronounces Chipotle wrong, but you make a solid point that the word is stupid anyways. Guess I'll let her slide.
There's a segment on a radio station I listen to called "war of the roses." It's shocking how many people in the DC area are cheating on their significant other... but entertaining for me.
CarissaExplainsItAll
PT Cruisers suck. My MIL had one, and the stupid thing scraped on EVERYTHING.
And I'm with you on #6, too.
Actually, I agree with everything except the Chipotle, but I actually like that word. :)
#5 had me laughing so hard. It is so freaking true. My "solution" is to use two freaking ugly giant safety pins to pin the corners of the duvet to the top of the duvet cover. Only now the duvet stays in place but the down just drifts to the bottom anyways. I almost bought a comforter today for that very reason. Why do comforters feel so 90's to me?
I hate the duvet/comforter thing so bad I can't even express it, but I'm also super lazy, so I never bother fixing mine.
I also probably shouldn't admit this, but I hate the automated phone system. I lose my temper around the second question every time. The next time I have to do business with a company and an actual human answers the phone, they will have my eternal loyalty.
I love your list - agree with you on all of it... from mildly agreeing to whoo haa agreeing on some.
I wanted to add, while the PT cruiser is definitely awful, do you remember the Pontiac Aztec? It is my most hated automobile ever.
In fact I couldn't remember what it was called and googled "ugliest cars" and it came up on oddee.com 's list.
Ditto on the club house fireplace shots. I've seen so many home listings lately where instead of showing a picture of a room in the house that you might be interested in, they show a picture of the couch. Or the towels in the bathroom. Or the dining room table and chairs.
I love this post!!! It makes me miss Africa.
My favorite picture is the little girl and her high waisted skirt with suspenders.
I am so glad you have had a good experience.
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