There's an app for that.

Sup dawgs.

So, I always find boiler plate comments {things you seem to hear 50 times a day and can't really explain why} to be really fun to use as blog titles. So I'm going to do that from time to time, and it won't make sense. Things like "Can you hear me now" are a little overused. But today's seems fresh enough. Anytime I complain, someone should retort with it like a smartass, so I quit whining.

I have several items to cover today, as I haven't blogged for awhile. I decided to color code the topics so you can skip to a different one if it gets boring.

Section 1, Verbal Vom in RED - Stuff I Thought About While Parked On The Stupid Freeway
First off, I want to thank my friend Teresa {whose handle is Ms. Hobbs in this realm, and who is in my top tier of sincerely favorite people ever} for introducing me to "Dear Blank, Please Blank." It turns into a mental writing prompt that manifests itself most often in traffic jams. Which is annoying because I can't write them down to capitalize on my brilliance on the internet later. Dammit. But I remembered this one:

Dear Proud Grandparents,

I actually don't have grandkids. So I don't see how yours could possibly be cuter. You are unknowingly comparing your spawn's spawn to the open space and clean air that I haven't filled with more humans. That's not really tough competition. Please let your license plate frame know.

Wait, I'm not done. Let's pretend I had grandkids. I can't promise they'd be cuter than yours. But I can almost assure you that they'd be smarter and would know how to merge when instructed, rather than speed past the rest of us, cut to the front of the line where the lane ends (as we are all warned 50 times that it would, via large signs and arrows) and then play stupid once at the front of the line, hoping some schmuck will let them in. My grandkids would know how to drive quite well. I fear your grandkids might inherit your inabilities in that area. And that sucks.

Love,

Wish I Could Fit THAT On A Plate Frame

{Hey, maye there's an app for that.}

Section 2, Verbal Vom in ORANGE: Business
I went into business...it was stoopud. I remembered I already have a job, so I'm letting someone else shoot for entrepreneurial glory, and doing what I really want. An office job.

Enough about that. Let's move on to Section 3, Verbal Vom in BLUEish: The Curry Hangover
As I scan down the page of my blog as it stands, I become more and more aware that I didn't write NEAR enough about my trip to India. If blogging were how life is measured, I'd have definitely short-changed my trip. I don't know where to start or finish. And ultimately, that kind of crap is only interesting to others for about five minutes. So I decided just to journal it and reflect in my own way over time, and maybe find a way to put it all in a blog that somehow does it some justice. I still haven't even balanced back out in the sleep department. I think that's partially to blame for the undereye bags I mentioned above, under ORANGE Vom.

Aside from all that, I am boring and unbloggable. But hey...I updated. And I feel much better.

I missed you guys.