So, it was Christmas parte 1 this weekend. Since you were wondering, and because NOBODY'S blog right now has crap about the HOLIDAYYYSSS and/or how CRRRAAYYYZAY their families are, etc., I will proceed to talk about this Weekend without starting anything with My Big Fat Mormon [fill in the name of gathering].
So, like I said before, the little bro & co, they all came and stayed with aunt Kicky (that's me!). All four of them got some violent stomach flu that had them ralphing seven times in 24 hours. Between our people, that's pushing 30 barfs. This was on the day my grandpa created a giant buffet of amazing food that none of them could partake of. Add about 25 people to the mix, in a 1400 square foot house, half of which are children, who scream much. I was ready for bed at 6:30 p.m.
What else did I do?
-I bought a D60.
-I bought an external hard drive.
-I named my car Sandals. Someday I'll explain it to you. Or maybe the title of this post will.
-I watched The One With The Prom Video, but only the end part, three times. It is porn. It is hardcore classic Ross & Rachel.
-I drove home from Provo with Archie, my sister's 14 week old Husky/Malamute mix. That's 1 hour, 1 puppy, zero chew toys, 75 mph. I had to use my hand! (Ha ha, there's a sentence I'm always trying to fit in somewhere.) Archie flopped on my lap, squirmed, and chewed my damn hand for an hour while I tried not to crash and kill us both.
-I stood in a Build-a-Bear with my brother in joint inappropriate juvenile hysterics, watching the XXX pounding the empty bears took from the stuffing machine. Approximately 15 people stood in the line behind my nephews, rightfully judging us.
-Threw old wedding dress in the garbage can. Did not look back or cringe or regret.
-Found the pair of "Kicky's going to get a hot piece" boots. Boots to wear while I'm getting said piece of hot, whenever it comes my way (within the handful of days remaining before I'm legally single). I have actually wanted them for over a year, but never could justify the purchase. Now I can, because I have no ball and chain to explain it to. I'm buying those babies. They will someday be known as those infamous blue boots.
-Found the gaudiest-ass track jacket in world history, which nobody should ever wear in public, and promptly lusted after it. And have not stopped lusting. Think tea rose velour, 1.5 "carat" sized rhinestones sewn into the back, in the shape of angel wings. The entire thing weighed like nineteen pounds. It's like the seashell lamp Rachel found in Mr. Heckles' apartment, and insisted upon keeping. She was a fashionista and a snob, but she loved that heinous lamp. I think we all have a side of us that likes something tacky along the way. I found mine. Oh and it was $343. Yeah, I'll probably pick it up at the Rack in 2 months.
-Got back in touch with old guy friends. I missed having guy friends.
That is all, you may go.
So, like I said before, the little bro & co, they all came and stayed with aunt Kicky (that's me!). All four of them got some violent stomach flu that had them ralphing seven times in 24 hours. Between our people, that's pushing 30 barfs. This was on the day my grandpa created a giant buffet of amazing food that none of them could partake of. Add about 25 people to the mix, in a 1400 square foot house, half of which are children, who scream much. I was ready for bed at 6:30 p.m.
What else did I do?
-I bought a D60.
-I bought an external hard drive.
-I named my car Sandals. Someday I'll explain it to you. Or maybe the title of this post will.
-I watched The One With The Prom Video, but only the end part, three times. It is porn. It is hardcore classic Ross & Rachel.
-I drove home from Provo with Archie, my sister's 14 week old Husky/Malamute mix. That's 1 hour, 1 puppy, zero chew toys, 75 mph. I had to use my hand! (Ha ha, there's a sentence I'm always trying to fit in somewhere.) Archie flopped on my lap, squirmed, and chewed my damn hand for an hour while I tried not to crash and kill us both.
-I stood in a Build-a-Bear with my brother in joint inappropriate juvenile hysterics, watching the XXX pounding the empty bears took from the stuffing machine. Approximately 15 people stood in the line behind my nephews, rightfully judging us.
-Threw old wedding dress in the garbage can. Did not look back or cringe or regret.
-Found the pair of "Kicky's going to get a hot piece" boots. Boots to wear while I'm getting said piece of hot, whenever it comes my way (within the handful of days remaining before I'm legally single). I have actually wanted them for over a year, but never could justify the purchase. Now I can, because I have no ball and chain to explain it to. I'm buying those babies. They will someday be known as those infamous blue boots.
-Found the gaudiest-ass track jacket in world history, which nobody should ever wear in public, and promptly lusted after it. And have not stopped lusting. Think tea rose velour, 1.5 "carat" sized rhinestones sewn into the back, in the shape of angel wings. The entire thing weighed like nineteen pounds. It's like the seashell lamp Rachel found in Mr. Heckles' apartment, and insisted upon keeping. She was a fashionista and a snob, but she loved that heinous lamp. I think we all have a side of us that likes something tacky along the way. I found mine. Oh and it was $343. Yeah, I'll probably pick it up at the Rack in 2 months.
-Got back in touch with old guy friends. I missed having guy friends.
That is all, you may go.
3 comments:
I just watched "the one where Joey loses his insurance", I'm right there with ya, it's a kind of high where you don't have to use your brain what-so-ever!!! I love it.
P.S. the word verification is hedisme, which sounds like the baby's name in twilight. Ruined the book really.
I want that track jacket!
Congrats on the new boots. I hope you get to use them very soon and I hope it makes you feel better.
I was laughing about the puppy transporting. That's a great picture.
Keep it up Kirsten. You are doing well and in the process, you are getting amazing material for a GREAT book! I really hope to read it soon.
Take care and have a wonderful Holiday!
P.S. MY word verification is "booherp". That sounds like .. um ... a disease you can get from .....
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