No boobs or anything

And when I say that, I'm referring to the best movie ever. Slumdog came into our lives, starting in little indie theaters that like subtitles, and will surely end up in big megaplexes. I'm serious, Little Women. You've found your match. I'm twitterpated by small, precocious Indian children running around in poop and hanging from trains, even if it recycled Paper Planes after Pineapple Express already ruined it for the world (well, the world minus me, because I'm the only person still not over it, because the sound of recklessly fired weapons still soothes me as I drive to work sometimes and wax hardass, plus the movie gets redemption points for playing subtle manipulations of the song later). I bet you thought I was going to forget the second parenth. Nope suckazzz!

Also, I'm going to write a cheesy-ass romance novel and sell it to Harlequin and pay off my car. I just decided that. It is going to be so bad (and by bad, I mean somehow you will deliberately spill a bloody mary on the cover so nobody can tell you are reading my new book, Sweet Valley Adults, Jessica And Elizabeth Juxtapose One Another Once Again [Guess which one does post-graduate work while the other nurses a romance with the uber-successful father of her illegitimate child?]). Someone had to write it! Why not me? Why not be debt-free? Imagine my phone call to Dave Ramsey after that one!

So fine, it's a working title. Like the Harlequin gods let you actually NAME your own bodice ripper. I think they have a database driven name generator, most likely some crudely constructed Access application.

I'm thinking, by June. Cuz, you know? The Wakefield girls just don't stop. They also don't take a lot of thought. They ALSO don't require you to use your own name, as I am pretty sure the series is written by about twelve-hundred women all sharing the pen name of Francine Pascal.

There should be very few things more embarrassing than the fact that I pulled that name from memory at lightning speed. 

(No one on the corner has swagger like us.)